Wow, nobody told me getting married is a lot of work!

The name change portion alone is extremely time consuming! I’ve notified the most important bodies of my name change already; Bank of America, Social Security administration, HR at work, DMV, J Crew Catalog…so, yeah. I guess you could say I’m settling into married life pretty well.

I’m really excited to have bagged the man of my dreams. We get along swimmingly. There are however a few habits that he’ll have to get used to. I’ve created this post for him to understand the good, the bad and the fugly of shacking up with yours truly FOREVER. This may also amuse some of you ladies, as I’m sure you have similar habits.

Here is what my husband has to look forward to:

1. Gardening!
We will be a composting family as long as we’re able to. And my succulents are my little friends, they’re going everywhere with us. If the Army sends us to Korea or Germany and they can’t come, then I’ll temporarily give custody of them to a trusted friend or family member.

I will get dirty in the spring time re-potting my plants, or working in a garden on our future property. I’ll stand outside and yell at you to open the door so I don’t get dirt everywhere. Thank you, in advance.

 2. Awesome meals!

Today I made a delicious lentil stew, it was so hearty.

Well, just be advised that we’ll be eating lots of seasonal veggies and red meat substitutes. I will not, however, keep you from eating real bacon. The fake stuff is just cruel for the guy I married.

I also make these meals spicy, so hope you’re feeling adventurous for the rest of your life. I know you are.


3. A Serious Popcorn Addiction!

This one could be the good, the bad or the fugly for some of you. For Isaac and I, it’s the good.

Isaac, get ready for my homemade popcorn experiments. Today’s batch of Southwest Lime Popcorn was delish! Our children will one day look back fondly on these mad popcorn skillzzz.

 If you ladies would like, I’ll post a couple of my favorite popcorn recipes. Yum!

4. The Old Lady in Me!
Prepare to keep our home stocked with lemon drops. This old lady loves them. Get ready for bridge lessons and episodes of A Haunting. These are an inevitability. I’ll also need quiet around the house for when this grandma reads her stories on Thought Catalog, or catches up on blogs.

On the weekends, I tend to kick around in leggings or yoga pants and sneakers. We will have fun running and working out together, but I will most likely put these sneakers back on after cleaning up. I’ll try to keep up with the workout clothes fashions, just to keep things interesting, and less dumpy.

5. The Bunny!
As long as this little pup (or bunny as I like to call him) is around we’ll be covered in dog hair and sweeping it every day. His dog hair will be omnipresent and so will his disgusting geriatric gas. Yeck. But aww, he’s so cute!

 Observe: just think of it as taking your dog everywhere with you. He loves car rides, on your coat.

6. The Clumsy!

I’m very hard on my glass ware. It’s probably because I’ve never had a dishwasher and I don’t even have a microwave (that’s relevant, right?). Just be aware that when we shop for glasses, I will pick out the ones I want and proudly declare “Yes, I will take this home and use it for 3-12 months before I break it.” Don’t get attached.

7. The “I do too much paperwork at work, I don’t want to do it at home too!”

In my personal life, I resent voice messages, email and filing things. I’ll happily do it in the office, but at home? No man, I’d rather be making popcorn.

I’m a great record keeper, but a terrible filer. Feel free to lay down the law. I need it. Actually, I’ll just get to that right now…

8. The Shoes!

I have shoes for all occasions, and they seldom make it back to the closet. I apologize. Maybe this is incentive to have a house with a walk in closet? >nudge, nudge<

Either way, we are living in exciting times! I’m looking forward to married life and relocating to Tacoma, Washington. Yes, I’ve said it. I’ll be heading out to Washington sometime later this year. Oklahoma, I’ll be sad to leave after living here for ten years. But I do so miss the Pacific Ocean.

So, cheers to Isaac! The First Class World Champ of my heart!