Still life: what an elusive concept.
With Isaac out of town the last two weeks, and Woods refusing to sleep through the night without mums face within arms reach, sleep has been fleeting, and alone time has been an abstract notion.
Tensions rose to a breaking point: the unending laundry, the sleep deprivation, and the thankless, lonely week left me on the brink of eruption. But the mood in my home finally pivoted from heavy and melancholy to light and refreshed. The kids and I napped at the same time this afternoon. I can’t ever remember catching sleep when feeling so run down, and I speculate I will never again be graced with a nap at such a opportune moment.
Downstairs, the vegetarian chili on the stove burned without my attentive stirring, and a package on the front porch sat uncollected, but when I awoke from my cat nap, my cheeks were rosy and youthful, and my spirit was restored. I could have cried from the relief, and maybe I did — but the takeaway is that I was extended grace when I needed it most, allowing me to do the same to my children.
I suppose one day I’ll realize these days will come and go, whether or not Isaac is called to service away from home. My sophomoric attitude towards motherhood needs refining through experience. If this week has taught me anything, it’s that I’m well on my way to gaining wisdom, but I think I’d rather have a full night’s sleep.